what men are attracted to women in their 40s?
Jason Momoa and wife Lisa Bonet made headlines concluding week when Momoa recalled how he was a "nervous wreck" when he initially asked Bonet out on a engagement. Momoa was just 26 years old at the time, and approaching Bonet, who is 12 years his senior, was intimidating.
" ... When you meet someone you're completely infatuated with and so find out she'due south amazing, intelligent, and funny and she's a goddess and you're a degenerate," he told Men's Health. Momoa worked up the nerve and the 2 have been together since.
What is it near older women? It still seems more than common for men to seek out younger women, but ane of TODAY's virtually-read stories continues to be this post on why younger men fall for older women. We've celebrated the long-term relationships between histrion Hugh Jackman, who is 13 years younger than married woman Deborra-Lee Furness. Then at that place'south French President Emmanuel Macron, and his wife Brigitte, who is 24 years older.
But it'southward not only younger famous men who understand the allure to mature women.
In "Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Beloved and Romance," authors Felicia Brings and Susan Winter interviewed more 200 men to discover the allure of the so-called "Mrs. Robinson syndrome." You'll exist surprised at what men find appealing about older women.
"I'd practise it over again? Definitely, no question. Oh yeah, and once you lot've washed it, y'all definitely look at older women in another fashion."—Nick, 33
We've made our position known and shared the thoughts and experiences of the women to whom we talked. Now it's time to let the men speak for themselves. 1 important question nosotros asked was what they felt an older woman has to offer. Here are some answers which are clear, articulate and to the indicate. Their sentiments represent a very large proportion of the opinions we heard expressed.
"I met Karolina at a party given by some friends. When I saw her, I thought she was just the perfect woman for me and I was sure most that. I wasn't looking for an older adult female and Karolina wasn't looking for a younger human being, just information technology but happened. (I was 39 and she was 55 so.) Our relationship is unique, because it's not only congenital on sex, but on trust, respect and love. We are both morning people and most always in a practiced mood. We are both hard-working with many hobbies in common. In my opinion, historic period has nothing to do with our relationship. In our 20-five years together, we take never had a serious problem and nosotros are even so very happy."—Paolo, 64
"Pat is very special. Not simply is she beautiful, but she has a wonderful sense of humor and is very giving. The ability to talk most anything with her was refreshing and engaging. In fact, when I offset met her, I didn't know I was attracted to an 'older' woman. I knew she was older than I, but I didn't realize the disparity in age until she told me (which didn't happen until a couple of dates into our relationship). Pat offered me space, devotion and herself, which I couldn't detect in anyone else. I take better care of myself now. She is a all-time friend who reflects back to me what a good person I am, which builds my confidence and self-esteem. I now accept a meliorate chore and feel better about myself than e'er before."—Neil, 35
Nigel, at 37, finds himself attracted to older women, in role for their clarity and substance and as well their relaxed attitude nigh life:
"I find that I'm attracted to a woman who has some degree of self-possession. I similar the stimulation of a sharp intellect. I savour sitting down to dinner with someone who has a level of conversation I tin can appreciate and savor. I think younger women are sometimes too focused on starting families and that is rarely an issue with older women. I've e'er had relationships with older women. They know themselves. They have so much more to offer and they are looking for unlike things. They are non simply looking for guys who will be skilful fathers and providers. Older women tin can be more playful. They are more relaxed. Information technology's actually a personality affair for me regarding what is attractive. I enjoy a confident mental attitude and older women definitely have the upper hand in that area."
Dan, age 24, also expressed a similar theme:
"When I meet a woman over xxx, she's usually very clear and focused. She knows what she wants in life and it makes being with her so much easier. I look at a lot of my friends who have girlfriends their age and younger and the problems they have strike me as ridiculous. They frequently act foolish and immature. I don't have time for that behavior—that's why I like mature women."
That life experience is sexy was also a repeated theme:
"But the fact that at that place's so much to larn from an older woman, that they have so many more life experiences to describe upon, is an adventure to me. It's similar a rush."—Vincent, 31
Some immature men saw themselves reflected dorsum in an older woman and realized the woman'southward own specialness:
"She was very cute and caring and we had similar interests. She offered me the opportunity to run into some other perspective on a lot of different issues. I mean, older women recall differently on certain problems and they've got more experience. I grew up a lot with her. Yes, definitely, she helped me to grow up. She fabricated me realize how of import I could be in making someone else happy. Not that I was doing information technology for her, only merely being with her."—Fine art, 27
Fred, age 28, told u.s. what qualities attracted him to older women: "The experiences in life that they've had make them more grounded and realistic."
When asked what a mature adult female offered him that he couldn't find in a younger woman, Fred answered: "Emotional stability. Need I say more? There have been nada simply positives in my relationships with ii older women. They were able to see things in me that I could non run across in myself. Also, at that place were levels of honesty unlike anything I've experienced even with best friends."
Fred gave the states a wealth of information over several interviews. Open, upbeat and extremely handsome, he revealed the enormous love and respect he shared with his one-time partner and now shares with his electric current partner.
Fred's showtime older-woman experience occurred when he was 21 years old and Gretchen was 37. They lived together for 2 years. They are both withal very close and see each other regularly. Not only did they have a tremendous friendship as the basis of their relationship, but an extraordinary sex activity life likewise. Recently, this woman underwent major surgery and it was her ex-young man Fred, not the woman'southward electric current older beau, who was past her side. Gretchen, now 44, was involved with a human being of 51 and he was only too busy with work and personal commitments to exist available when she actually needed him. It was Fred who visited her on a regular basis and saw to it that she had what she needed during her recuperation.
Afterward his relationship with Gretchen ended, Fred tried dating girls in their early on 20s. He explained, ofttimes quite humorously, how ridiculous he felt trying to have meaningful conversation over blaring music at a dance club. His brief experimentation with younger females only reaped endless head games, defoliation and immature behavior. Resolutely, Fred abased the "immature woman trial catamenia." He knew he liked older women and that was his standard. He decided this time to accept it.
His side by side relationship was with Marla, a co-worker. They were great friends and then she began to pursue him. Why not? he idea. She was older. Mayhap information technology would work. Only Marla's flaw seemed to exist that she was only five years older — and for Fred, that notwithstanding wasn't enough to produce the kind of emotional maturity and depth for which he searched.
After a year or and then of taking a "time-out," Fred met Lynne. She is 10 years older. Fred's respect and appreciation of older women was clear when he spoke:
"The fashion mature women bear themselves shows they know who they are. It equates to stability. They've already figured out who they are. Maybe not all the time, but a lot more often than younger women. They are all-around much more attractive to me.
"Likewise, they are much more experienced with life. You know this is the kind of person who'southward going to tell you exactly what they want and they are more sure of themselves than the people my historic period or younger. Older women are much more well rounded — they know what they feel and why they feel it.
"Information technology'due south easier to have a relationship with an older adult female, because she knows how to communicate what she wants. It has a snowball effect all the mode around.
"I take a preference for women starting at most x years older than myself and up. It'southward audacious for both of us, considering it'due south a whole new heady journey. Younger women just don't permit me to grow in the ways older women exercise."
Not all older woman/younger human being relationships last forever, merely Fred'southward answer to how he handled the ending of his human relationship with an older woman was especially insightful: "I went on with my life and took with me many memories and experiences that made me mentally and emotionally rich. I considered it a hell of a jump start on life."
Certainly, there are challenges for the men as well as the women in these relationships. For example, the effect of having or not having children came up repeatedly:
"My first relationship with an older woman — I was xx and she was 36 — lasted 2 and a half years. My second — I was 28 and she was 41 — lasted three years and we lived together for one year. The principal thing that attracted me was the overall calm of an older adult female. There is a frenetic free energy with a younger woman that tin can exist very exciting and very cute, just not for my personality. Neither of my relationships was about beingness mothered. Both women were professionals, very focused on their work lives and extremely confident and sure of themselves. That was very bonny to me."—Lenny, 38
Ultimately, Lenny's final relationship concluded when he wanted children and his partner of 43 did non.
Of course, the event of "Will I want children after on?" has become a less meaning challenge to a relationship between older women and younger men than it has been in the past. In vitro fertilization by donor eggs and other reproductive methods accept greatly inverse the fertility prognosis for older women. Pregnancy at ages once reserved for "miracles" is at present a medical possibility.
Other challenges for the younger men occurred in the form of disapproval and criticism from friends and colleagues similar, although non as severe, to what the older women experienced.
"I got more of a reaction from men than women. The men my age and older were jealous that I was with her. They would wait at me as if I had something they wanted and didn't have and, because I was younger, they reacted more than strongly. And women my historic period disapproved of the relationship.
"Every morn, I would wake up happy and experience like I had the world on a cord. I judge some of these people idea I was trying to prove something — I wasn't. Our relationship just made me feel great. She was keen! I was proud of who she was and what nosotros had together."—Barry, 26
Overall, however, it seems that such criticism is non as big an obstacle for men in these relationships as for women. In fact, some men received support and admiration from peers and co-workers.
"Friends and colleagues all admired my decision to accept a relationship with a mature adult female. They respected what I had with her, which was an emotional connexion with an experienced, centered person. Most people's reactions take been good. There take been no negative attitudes or comments given to me that stick out in my caput. Actually, many people have asked my partner and me for advice."—Patrick, 34
Sex with an older woman
The men to whom we talked spoke about the advantages of being in relationships with older women in terms of the serenity and condolement, the growth opportunity and the honesty they were afforded. But more than any other advantage, they talked about the positive sexual relationships they experienced. They all commented that sex with older women was ameliorate.
"Negatives? What negatives? I cried, I laughed, I went back for more. The advantages can exist summed up in 2 words: intense marathon."—Zach, 32
"Advantages of having sex with an older adult female? Are you kidding? An older woman is more certain of herself and brings that to the relationship. She knows what she wants and how to communicate that to her partner. I like non having to worry most pregnancy and an unwanted child. I do non feel the desire to accept one and the lack of feet over that issue is relieving. Lisa is also in her prime and we have the well-nigh intense sexual relations I accept always had."—Gary, 39
"The biggest advantage is that they know what they desire and so there'south no guesswork. Yous may try to delight them and they'll tell you if information technology isn't working. I loved it. That's a turn on. Absolutely no negatives about sex? it was the best. The best!"—Scott, 25
"Astounding! The sex was important — but I was really concerned about what she needed and desired. She would take over and go from there. It fabricated things a hell of a lot easier, considering nosotros were merely at that place to have fun. Information technology was like breaking through a major bulwark that takes other people forever to figure out. In that location was a 'click' sexually. It was piece of cake and it was swell!"—Russ, 29
"If I look at a daughter in her 20s, I might find her bonny, but thoughts are only on sex. I can't really do anything with her. She's not formed yet. She's like a lump of common cold clay—very pretty clay, but notwithstanding unshaped. When I look at older women, I meet real women. They experience like women. They are solid. Their bodies are solid. Their thoughts have solidified. A relationship with an older woman can be very rewarding."—Mel, 32
"I learned how to make love to a woman. She took me by the manus and said, 'Slow downwards.' I mean, I was 20 — and at twenty you're merely so happy to really be doing it? Yous never think almost how."—Rick, 27
"The only reason I'grand interested in young women is strictly concrete — I haven't met one in the terminal twelvemonth or two who has the maturity that I'chiliad looking for these days. Older women have definitely changed my taste equally to who I'thou attracted to. With most young women, I'1000 bored to expiry. Bored to expiry."—Lenny, 38
"In a relationship, there is an intellectual component, a grounding component and a physical component. The physical is very important for a man? the sexual side is a large thing. It makes sense when y'all think well-nigh it? the greatest sex in my life has been with older partners. Fifty-fifty when it's early in the human relationship, it'south still much deeper."—Michael, 35
Fred, who was mentioned earlier, expressed his ain fulfillment: "Although my initial fear was that I wouldn't be expert enough sexually, my larger fear was that I'd overwhelm her — like telephone call too many times a day or say one also many 'I miss yous.' Instead, our mutual pleasure went from i high to another."
Source: https://www.today.com/health/men-confess-22-reasons-why-younger-guys-fall-older-women-t74731
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